ARE YOU IN  A TOXIC RELATIONSHIP?

Simply put, a toxic relationship is one that gradually erodes your sense of well-being, your self-esteem and your enthusiasm for life and then, gradually introduces bits and pieces of a damaged and deeply disturbed personality into your being to the point where you start believing that you are really no good and that if you ever leave that relationship, that you might end up alone because nobody would want you. A relationship that makes you settle for way less than you truly deserve. Or a relationship where you are the reason why the other person feels all the things described above. A relationship where its either you are being "poisoned" or one where you are the "poison".
So, are you in one? Is your current relationship adding any positive value to your life(and I dont mean financial value alone) and are you adding any value too or is it draining you? Mentally, emotionally, physically, financially? Have you given so much to that relationship to the point where you feel like you have nothing more to give? Are you in the relationship as a matter of necessity and not really because you want to be in it? Is that relationship helping you grow and are you helping the other person grow?
If you, my friend that is reading this, after an objectively introspective consideration of these questions feel that you are in a toxic relationship, then may I respectfully ask you to "GET THE HELL OUT OF THAT RELATIONSHIP NOW. Whether "poisoned" or "poisoner", please get out now!
Yeah, I know that in relationships like this, its often difficult to just up and leave. I know. But you really need to sit down and define for yourself what you really want. The kind of person you want to be and the kind of person you want in your life.
So, for our Action Point this week, I suggest you sit down and write down at least 10 things that are most important to you when it comes to love and relationships. While you are at it, also write down the qualities that are most important to you in someone you want to spend the rest of your life with.
Next week Thursday, we will look at what to do next.

WALKING IN THE SPIRIT: Is it really necessary?
"This I say then, walk in the spirit and ye shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh" -Galatians 5 vs 16
The instruction to walk in the spirit in the above scripture isn't a mere suggestion, its a necessity. Why?
a.) Because nature(or your flesh) naturally tends to chaos and always needs a force to bring order to it. The Holy Spirit is that Force and
b.) Because we are basically spirits living in a mortal body.
Yes, you are a spirit with an amazing ability to operate both in the spiritual and physical realm. This understanding alone can bring a lot of amazing changes in your life if you can grasp it.
I actually like how Giovanni Pico Della Mirandola put it in his book "Oration On The Dignity Of Man". According to him,after God created all creatures, He conceived of another, a sentimental being who would appreciate all His works but there was no longer room in the chain of being; all the possible slots from angels to worms had been filled. So God created man such that he had no specific slot in the chain. Instead, man were capable of learning from and imitating any existing creature. When man philosophizes, he ascends the chain of being towards the angels and communes with God but when he fails to exercise his intellect(the knowledge gained from his communion with God),he vegetates.
Now, I would like to believe that what Pico meant by philosophizing was "man being in touch with his higher self(his spirit being)" since this is the channel via which God communicates his purposes to man.
You see, the challenges that we face in our christian walk, particularly as regards the lust of the flesh will naturally cease to speak in our lives if we maintain a close relationship with the Holy Spirit.
How can we do that? It starts with a desire on your part. The beautiful thing about the Holy Spirit is that all He needs is an invitation. Just tell Him you want Him and leave the rest to Him. You will be amazed at what He would do to you and through you.
I should know, I am a living testament to the amazing power of the Holy Spirit. Please invite Him today.

THE SEQUOIA SEED: A Testament To The Fact That Your Size Shouldn't Determine Your Results.

The sequoia tree, one of the biggest living things on earth that grows over 300 feet high(that's about the size of a 30 storey building),has a diameter of about 36 feet, lives for over 3000 years and whose roots happen to cover about 3 or 4 acres, comes from a seed that is about the size of a pin head. How awesome is that?
Who could, from the size of that seed, tell what it is capable of producing? I bet you no one.
You are like a sequoia seed. Your size and by this, I mean what you look like on the outside, has nothing to do with what you are capable of producing.
As a matter of fact, there is ample scientific evidence that human beings (that's you) only use about 10 per cent of their brain capacity.
Only 10 percent? And the world is like this? What then will happen if every human being uses at least 70 percent instead of 10? Scary thought, tho but you see, that's my point. We are capable of so much more than we are achieving right now. Yeah, you and I.
Knowing this, I have resolved to be all that I can be. I have decided to not place any limit on myself and my capabilities and so,I am going to ask you to do something for me: please never ever judge your capabilities based on what you look like on the outside, never do that.
You are a lot bigger on the inside than you are on the outside, particularly if you have the Holy Spirit.
And just incase you are wondering why I keep talking about the Holy Spirit, wonder no more. On Friday, 30th of October 2015, I will tell you why.
Until then, go out and conquer!

QUICK FITNESS TIP OF THE DAY
While its true that most of us do not have the time for a workout in the mornings before we go to work, there are some basic things we can do to get our blood pumping and help us keep up our energy level throughout the day. we could do things like:
1. walking instead of driving ( where its feasible)
2. taking the stairs instead of the elevator
3. taking a break and walking around the office (even better, up and down the stairs)
4. doing a stretch or even better, a sumo squat when you wake up ( To do a sumo squat: Stand with your feet positioned slightly wider than shoulders and toes pointed out. With your palms in front of your chest, slowly squat down flaring your knees out as you go. Lean forward and press your elbows against the inside of your thighs. Keep heels flat on the ground. then slowly return to standing position.  please see the picture above. You could repeat this 5 times.)
5. Lastly, instead of eating rolls or fries or pies when you need to nibble on something, you could take a fruit snack like apples, grapes etc.
That said, we still need to develop a proper fitness routine, but these will get us started at least..have a great day, fam and don't forget to show someone some love today!!!
‪#‎BeFitTuesday‬

COLOURS: AN IMPORTANT TOOL IN PERCEPTION MANAGEMENT

COLOURS AND THEIR EFFECT ON THE HUMAN PSYCHE AS A TOOL IN PERCEPTION MANAGEMENT

Colour, it’s everywhere but funny thing is, we are rarely aware of the effect they have on us as humans.  From making us calm to making us feel agitated down to building trust and reassurance, colours produce a variety of emotions in us that when properly understood and effectively utilized, would make a lot of difference in our lives. For instance, countless studies have shown the sublime effect which the colour red has on the human psyche. As a matter of fact, it has been proven that men consider a woman in a red dress to be more attractive.  Various examples of the subtle use of colour to influence abound. For example, the colour red is used to denote danger or to inspire action because red makes us agitated, bankers often wear navy blue because navy blue inspires trust and reliability, fast food centres often add a touch of orange because orange stimulates appetite and conversation……..the list goes on.

 Let’s look at it from another perspective.  We all admire most celebrities who always look good every time they step out and oftentimes we fail to realise the amount of effort that goes into making them look as fantastic as they often do. Well, I can tell you that one of the reasons why they look as good as they do is because they or their stylists understand how to use colour to the best of their advantage, amongst other things that contribute to developing a stylish image. That’s why they often look more interesting, more confident, more in control and of course more attractive.

So, the question now becomes: how do we make colours work for us?

 First, understand where you belong in the grand scheme of the four basic colour seasons that we human beings belong to (of course, if you are not a human being, this is definitely not for you). The procedure is called Colour Analysis (which we would talk about in a later post) but basically we humans fall into to four basic categories: Autumn, Winter, Summer and Spring. The essence is to find your most flattering colours and also to know the colours you should definitely stay away from.

 Next, you need to decide what you want to achieve? Would you like to appear more attractive, more fascinating, more in control?  More specifically, are you looking for ways to improve your odds in making sales as a business person? Or would you generally like to command more attention?

Third, understand the industry you work in, what colours are allowed in your workplace. The conservative nature of most professions like the banking and legal professions might place certain restrictions on the use of colour but that shouldn’t stop you. As a banker or lawyer, you can always find ways to introduce a bit of colour to your dressing( ties, belt, pocket squares or handkerchiefs, if you prefer etc)  These are few steps that would get you started on your journey towards becoming a totally packaged individual…tomorrow, we look at styling! Have a great day fam and pls don’t forget to share! Let’s spread the word!

PERSONAL BRANDING

PERSONAL BRANDING

I am going to attempt to talk about Personal Branding in its most simplistic form here. The essence is that anyone who reads this will understand it easily enough to act on the info contained therein.

First, I’d like to start by defining “branding”. Branding is the “process” of creating an identity that represents your products/services in the minds and hearts of your customers or clients. From the above definition, it’s easy to see that first you must have a defined target and then second, that whatever identity you intend to create must connect with the target both intellectually and emotionally.

That said, we can attempt to define Personal branding as a personal identity that your target can connect to, both emotionally and intellectually which associates “YOU” as an individual with the services/products you provide. In recent times, the highly competitive nature of the ever-evolving global market place has necessitated the need for personal branding whether as a career or business person, if you are serious about maintaining your relevance.  As a career person, you need to constantly prove your worth to your employers if you do not want to be replaced, and as a business person, you need to establish yourself as the only solution to the needs of your customers. There are lots of reasons why you should brand yourself but I’ll give you just one: because you have “competition”. Let me further help you understand, no matter how great your services or products are, truth is, you are not the only one with the same quality of services/products. And even if you are, it’s just a matter of time before someone comes up with something similar or even better.

Now, if you are career person reading this, I’d like you to understand that the key to maintaining your relevance to your employer is your ability to position yourself as a solution to the needs of your employer and to constantly reinvent yourself so as to continue to fill in that role. How? It’s simple! Every business wants to make profits and to save costs and if you can find ways to meet these needs, then you have the answer to the question. And when you have found the answer, the next step becomes establishing yourself as “the solution”. And that is what “Personal Branding” is about.

So in a nutshell, how do I brand myself as an individual?

1.       First, define who you are: the problems (social/economic) you want to solve, why you want to solve them, the skills and talents you have/need to be able to solve these problems very effectively and the results you want to achieve from solving these problems.  This is called “Brand Definition” and it forms the basis of your branding process. The next thing would be to:

2.       Develop a brand strategy by defining the following:

a.       Who needs your services/products? (Please understand that as a career person, the job you do is your service to your organization)  This defines who your target market/audience is.

b.      Where can you find the and how?

c.       How can I dress, walk, talk and behave in ways that will define and establish the services I render in the minds and hearts of my target?

The answers you give to these questions will set you on your way towards transforming yourself into a distinctively distinguished “solution provider” in the heart and mind of anyone that you come in contact with. If you have any questions or you need help with any of the above, you can connect with me via the following:

 Email: electrandukwe@gmail.com.

Phone: +2348037648830

BBpin: 32FBED6B

Or you can follow me on twitter: @electrandukwe. Thanks!!!

Perception Management

Hi everyone!
Perception is the new reality and yeah,i know u are probably tired of hearing that particularly since the statement has become a cliche. But, cliche or no, the way people perceive you is stronger in their minds than who you r in reality and ultimately  determines how they will relate to you. So, how can u as an individual use this as a tool to improve the quality
of your life? Answer: through strategic applications of dress, poise, manners and speech.

How?

1. develop your content:your content will set the stage for the development of ur perception management objectives. ask yourself some key questions such as:
a. who am i now?
b.who do i want to be 5 years from now?
c. how do people see me?
d. how do i want them to see me?
e.what changes can i make to my life that will help me achieve my goals?
now, i don't need to remind you that you need to be very objective while answering these questions. you already know that and if you have given objective answers to these questions, your next goal will be to:

2. manage your visual impression: the answers you gave to the questions above comes into play here. do you want to be seen as a successful and confident person? then dress like that. the key is to dress with the end result in mind. make sure you look exactly the way you want to be addressed or seen.  make sure that you portray the person you want to be seen as through your clothes and as you that, you will need to:

3. walk, sit, stand and behave in a manner that portrays your content. i am talking about how you carry yourself, what you say, how you say it and when you say it. you will need to learn some very necessary etiquette and protocols that will help you mingle with any class of people in the society.
these three strategies, when carefully executed will ensure your speedy attainment of your set personal goal and objectives...if you have any questions,you can reach me on 08037648830 or email me at electrandukwe@gmail.com